I'm going to meet YOU, suckas!

Well I bought my plane ticket to LA yesterday. My plan is to set down, get a Cinnabon, rent a car, then drive to these two assholes' house (I’m sure they live together):

I imagine that I’ll ring their door bell and they’ll come answer. I’ll lie to them about what a big fan I am of their work and ask them where they get their inspiration from. They’ll probably each answer by pulling out a crisp 20 dollar bill and kissing it.

That’ll be my cue. I’ll put each of their heads in a headlock and one by one I’ll bend each untalented hack over my knee and spank till tears fall out of their eyes. Or maybe I'll dunk their heads in the toilet over and over -- what ever it takes to make them promise to stop making movies. I haven't figured out all the details of my plan yet, but what I do know is that someone needs to stop them from making terrible, completely unoriginal, completely unfunny movies like Meet the Spartans, and that someone might as well be me.

I give Meet the Spartans -4 dickbags kissing cash out of -4.