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The Cottage

I can't remember when I saw the trailer for The Cottage, but i figured a kidnap/horror movie starring Andy Serkis was probably worth watching. So I netflixed it, and ended up being fairly surprised by the high production values and great acting.

The entire cast is great, particularly Reece Shearsmith as Peter and Jennifer Ellison as Tracey.

The plot revolves around a couple of guys that kidnap a rich man's daughter and take her to a cottage to await ransom. However, a neighboring farm is home to a murderous psychopath who complicates matters.

I give this 4/5!



Choke showcases Sam Rockwell's acting genius. Choke is a good movie with a few hilarious moments. Angelica Huston is great as always.
There are a few other gems in the supporting cast, but overall I saw this movie because of Sam Rockwell, and he didn't dissapoint. Between his lecherous skirt-chasing, and his intentional choking, Sam proves that he's the real deal =).

I give this 4/5 throat choking meat chunks.


Leatherheads -- Clooney tries to recapture the magic

Leatherheads has a great cast, including some notables such as George Clooney, John Krasinski, and Renée Zellweger. Stephen Root and Jonathan Price are also present, giving this movie some great promise. With that caliber of cast, one has high hopes that the movie will shine, and when it doesn't, it merits a little more criticism.


Yay, another list! The Ten Best Movies From the Eighties

Webster's dictionary online defines 'eighties movies' as: "There are no dictionary entries for eighties movies, but eighties, movies are spelled correctly". Truer words have never been said. Now, on to my list.

10. Return of the Jedi

The eightiesest of the Star Wars movies and the first movie I ever remember seeing in the theater. Call me what you will but I think this is still my favorite of the episodes.

9. E.T.


Rambo: The First Great Remake?

Just like you I waded through all the hype. Just like you I read all the articles. "Will it be a faithful remake?" "Should it even be remade at all?" "Can Sly pull it off?" dominated the headlines of Variety, the Hollywood Reporter, etc. for months.


I'm going to meet YOU, suckas!

Well I bought my plane ticket to LA yesterday. My plan is to set down, get a Cinnabon, rent a car, then drive to these two assholes' house (I’m sure they live together):
Complete Dipshits


There Will Be Blood Reviewed!

Well, another day, another 5 star review here at the Kraquen labs. This time it's for There Will Be Blood. The movie rules, Danny Day is awesome in it, and old people hate it. What more can I say? They should hand the Oscar to Danny D right now to save time. I give this movie 5 bloody bowling pins out of 5.


El Orfanato: Spanish for "I wish I wore an adult diaper to the theater"

The Orphanage is tense. Not just during certain scenes or parts like some lower caliber horror movies (I'm looking at you Eli Roth). No, this movie builds to a high level of tension early on and it sustains it until the movie is over. I messed my britches in two different ways while watching this movie because of this:


Kraq's best and worst of 2007

1: Superbad - Super Funny tied for first
1: Hot Rod - Tied for first
3: Hot Fuzz - Simon Pegg and Nick Frost do it again
4: No Country For Old Men - WOw
5: 300 - Wow


My List of the Best and Worst Movies I Saw Released in 2007

Best of 2007:

1. No Country for Old Men



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